Sunday, May 10, 2009

Where do we go from here......

I had to wait a couple days to post about our court date on Friday. I still have that giant golf ball in the back of my throat, I am hoping to get that to go away soon. It was hard enough to think about let alone to write about!

John and I are spending a weekend in Virginia. We lived in Southeast Virginia for a little over 3 years. John needed to take a business trip here, so I tagged along to see some old friends, check out the 2 houses we once owned and just have a nice relaxing get away!

I have been looking forward to Friday, May 8th for months. This was the day where Amara would become officially ours. I had all her pictures prepared in a video montage to post on my blog and facebook. The rule was, you had to pass court and then you can share your photos.

Friday morning was exciting. The other families with court dates are chattering away through email and the forum we have all connected with each other on. I was glued to my blackberry, and our adoption agency had set up a 1pm conference call with all the families. I decided to head over to Williamsburg to kill some time. I drove through the country and headed to the ferry to cross the James river. This was good, because on the ferry ride, I could read and reply to all the emails from the other families waiting like I was. After making it to Williamsburg, I received a call from Toni, our adoption case manager. She said she had some bittersweet news. The news was we didn't make it through court. We weren't denied by the judge, our case simply wasn't heard. She said on the conference call they will explain whats going on.

I wasn't too concerned. I was thinking oh....there were too many cases that day the judge didn't get to us, or maybe the power was out in Addis. I drove around for a while and ended up in a parking lot of a Target and a grocery store I used to frequent. John was in the middle of meetings and and couldn't get away. It was time to call in. Sharon the director of our agency had all the families on the phone that were in the same situation as we were. She proceeded to tell us the judge refused to hear our cases at this time.

The judge has suspended hearing cases of abandoned babies and children in Addis Ababa. Why? because of issues that are happening and happen with a lot of countries in international adoption. Corruption and unethical practices with other adoption agencies and orphanages. Babies who are sold and stolen and listed as abandoned.

I dont blame the judge. If it was found that our baby that was referred to us, had a mom out there that had no intention of giving her up, then that is where our baby should be - with her mom. Now...I truly think our baby was abandoned. I think this because of all the circumstances of her story and because I trust Children's Hope International. They strive to always try do things right.

That call was so hard. The whole adoption process is hard, lots of emotions that are up and down. I never imagined this would happen. Is there a chance we may never see the baby? Yes. But also the same amount of chance we will bring her home. The judge just needs to make the decision to hear our cases. The strangest thing is that I found myself in tears trying to make my way back to the Smithfield Inn where we were staying. I had a flashback of when I lived in Virignia years ago. People who are close to me know I had a very hard time when I had moved here before. I had just lost my dad at 56 years old. I was in a new marriage, moved to a new state and was terribly home sick. I spent a lot of time the first few years grieving about my father and a lot of driving and and tears. How strange that I am back in the same place in tears, driving and feeling grief about possibly not completing this adoption.

The hardest part is I don't know when this will happen. All through the process there was always something in the future, the day you complete your paperwork, the day you receive your referral, the day you receive your court date. I think the hardest part is there is not another date to be waiting for. I don't know what to focus on. The good thing is, our baby is getting great care by her loving nannies at the House of Hope. She will be 7 months old in a couple weeks. I received some new photos Friday night and a little update from another traveling family.

"She is adorable!!!!! Lots of hair and big beautiful eyes, she was sitting up in the walker and Paul took a picture of her doing so I will email that to you today "

Its so great to hear she is thriving. I cant imagine not ever seeing this sweet little baby. I am hoping and praying this all works out.

This is the update from our adoption agency -

Abandoned Child Issue

It has come to our attention that the Ethiopia Federal Court, as of this week, will not been hearing adoption cases of children who were abandoned in Addis Ababa, until futher notice. We had several families who had court dates scheduled for today who are being affected by this. Please know that this is not only affecting families with our agency,but for all agencies placing abandoned children from Addis Ababa, until further notice.

There was a case brought before the judge where a large number of children were presented as abandoned; there were many circumstances surrounding the children's paper work that made the judge suspicious,thus it was determined that the children were not in fact abandoned children at all. As a result, these adoptions were not allowed to go through. This was NOT Children's Hope families, and actually the name of the agency and those involved have not been released by the judge.

In our updates, we continually speak about ensuring ethical practices in adoption, for everyone involved in adoption. When something goes wrong in a country (in any country), it not only affects that agency, oroprhange, but many, and sometimes everyone involved in adoption in that country. That is the situation with the abandoned child issue that you may have heard families speaking about today. Everyone is not following the guideline of the Ethiopian Government and individuals are being made accountable.

We really do not have any information at this point regarding how long this decision will be in effect. The Judge in the Ethiopia Federal Court is making a decision regarding how the court will handle such cases. We will certainly keep you abreast of any information that we find of.

The Ethiopia team had a conference call with all of the families affected by this decision who had court dates scheduled for today. We elected to do that as there were 14 families with court dates today, our largest group at one time to date. We felt that it would be more effective and we could get information to each family in a more timely manner, and everyone would be hearing the same thing, if we had the mall on a call together. We certainly were hoping to give all the families the news that their adoption had been approved today and to discuss the process from here; however, unfortunately it turned out to be a call discussing why their adoption was not heard today.

We called families individually first to give them the news, as we didn't want them to here for the first time about their court date on the conference call, and asked families if they would not post any news about their court date until after our call with all of them. We certainly wanted them to hear the information from us first before they would post the information without really having details. We feel that that was in the best interest of the family regarding their personal adoption. We wanted to ensure that they had the information that WE would be presenting to them and that they would hear the news from us first and no one else, especially not from reading it on a blog . After the families received the information they were free to post as they'dl ike. The families also knew that this information would be in this weeks update for all families to be made aware of.

A few families did have their adoptions approved in the court today.These children were also abandoned; however, the children were not abandoned in Addis Ababa. Again the decision to not hear abandonment cases at this time only relates to children abandoned in Addis Ababa,not any of the surrounding areas.

The Judge in the Federal Court will determine what the next step will before all abandoned cases. We are hopeful that we will know something soon, however, no time frame has been given.

There are so many entities involved in presenting paperwork on the child that an agency would ultimately refer, that it is imperative that agencies, orphanages, facilitators, government offices, police officers,everyone involved in adoptions truly take a strong ethical stance for the sake of the children and international adoption.
I know that many of you will have additional questions. Please feel feel to contact your adoption consultant, or myself, and we'll be happy to

answer your questions.

We are believing for a favorable resolution, and our Ethiopia representative is very hopeful as well and he will be following this and of course going to the court to process other adoptions as well. We'll just have to wait, and pray, for now. Our prays are with the families too who had to receive this news today too,we know it's not easy to hear, or digest; but I say to you...

Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute,if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things. Philippians 4:8-9 God is still moving.!!

John and I are heading home today, back to Kansas City. It was nice in a way to not be at home when we received the news. I cant even think about seeing her nursery with her photos framed and the letters of her name on the wall.

To leave this on a positive note, my husband seems to always be right. He is one of the most logical and intelligent people I know. He isn't as concerned as I am, and he truly thinks this will be resolved quickly. He said this is what he deals with every day in his job in international business. John always seems to have a good sense of things and things always tend to work out how he predicts.

All for now, we are hoping for news this week.

11 comments:

Christine said...

Amanda- I feel the same as your husband does. This is a "blip" in the grand scheme of your adoption journey, and I feel strongly the judge just wants to set the Addis cases aside to do some closer looking. I don't think this will take too long, and I do believe it's in the best interest of the children and adoption, in general. It's what I would do as a judge, and I can't see them prolonging it indefinitely. GOOD NEWS will come...keep the faith, I know it's hard, but you WILL have your daughter.

Amanda said...

Amanda, first of all-Happy Mother's Day. It sounds odd, considering the post, but I hope you can find at least a few moments of today to celebrate the fact that you know someday Amara will be home with you.

That said, I'm not too concerned about this either. After being in Ethiopia, I realize that so many people have the best interest of the children in mind, including the judges. I'm sure pending the investigation, she will allow the babies' cases to be heard again.

I don't know how soon it will be and I only say this because (and once you're there, you'll know), but Ethiopians operate on a different time.

Rest assured your baby is loved where she is right now, she WILL be yours and it will be fixed. I know the not knowing the date must be torture. I'm so sorry.

Stephanie said...

Amanda you guys are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope this is resolved very quickly and you get a new date to count down to soon. I cannot imagine the pain you are going through waiting. (((Hugs)))

Christina Hubbard said...

Amanda-
Please know you and John are in our thoughts and prayers. We are praying this is resolved positively very soon.

Don and Tina Hubbard

Lennah and Delylah's mom said...

Hi
I just found your blog. I adopted from Ethiopia over the summer and ran into some court issues. Feel confident that things will go well. It turned out that it was just one orphanage (happened to be ours) but things sub-sided and out case was heard just 4 weeks later than planned. We used CHI for our first daughter's adoption and I know they will take care of you every step of the way. Best wishes and I know your baby will be home soon.
Cathy

Missy said...

I'm so sorry Amanda!! I can not imagine the pain of NOT knowing....I am hoping that you all hear something this week!!

Renee said...

Well, the good thing is- we all have each other to lean on during this hard time... I know for me, it has been wonderful to be able to email you or the other families and they understand what we are feeling. We will all get through this, I just hope it doesn't take too long :-)

Gretchen said...

Amanda- I am sending you all kinds of love through the breezes that blow by. I hope they reach you and you are able to remember that indeed you are not alone in this.
Much love,
Courtney

Ash said...

I am so sorry. Praying your baby comes home to you soon. Your DH is right, it is just a hurdle of sorts, of the entire process/journey of IA. Your dd will be with you soon.
Prayers and Huggggs,
ash

Brad and Fran Hoagland said...

I have followed your blog for quite a long time now. The first time I saw it was way back before your dossier was even complete. I remember it because you guys were always just a step ahead of us. I was heartbroken to hear about this situation and hoped it didnt effect you. I am so sick for you. I know with time, it will all get sorted out, but I understand what you mean by how hard it has to be to have NO TIME FRAME to think of. During the whole process we count down days so some parts and count up to certain days to others and here, now its just, what, thrown up in the air. That would drive me crazy. I will continue to pray hard for you guys, your precious baby, and all the truly abandoned babies/children that need to come home.

atHisrighthand said...

I am so sorry Amanda, praying for all of you!
Elise

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